bad week & debates

2006-10-25T19:20:05Z

first of all my week started going bad sunday, but it was jsut cause I was in a bad mood so didn't phase me, figured it would pass. Than monday my antivirus started to mess up and basicly something is happening to my pc but we can't figure out if it is a virus or if its the mafunctioning antivirus. I called the company and they gave me something to try and that didn't work. So I called again and teh 2nd thing they told me to do didn't work, and by this time I am really fed up with it and mad because almost everything on that computer is brand new! So since my computer is basicly my life... and not in a bad way, jsut that 90% of what I do is on my pc, school and friends. Than my phone card was running low, and my cell minutes went way down cuz I called home so much trying to figure things out, and I was jsut having a major breakdown day. I needed to call a certain friend and couldn't cause my card is so low. I still want to call them and can't really, nor can I visit them... any of them. Ihate friends being so far away. What do you do when the one person you need a hug from is on the opposite side of the country? Any one got a plane ticket, cause I could sure use one right now... I felt so stupid though cause it is onyl a computer, but like I said my computer is my life... so its hard not to have it online right now. (which is the only way it will run properly at the moment) So with all this weighing down on me I had another thing happen yesterday that made me blow my lid. I was jsut talking with a 2 friends and one said something I felt was out of line and jsut completely wrong and things went bad... got sworn at after reapeatedly telling this exact person not to swear AT me for the whole time I have been here! And than they didn't care they offended me on top of that.. Luckly Jessica saw it and ran after me, cuz I probally just would have gone to bed, cause I didn't want to be around anyone after that. I mean how come everyone wants to be accepted how they are, and they want me to accept things they do, and I have tried my best to do that. I tell them when I don't agree and thats that. Its not a big deal, but when I comes to me and I say I don't agree certain people (and I empasize CERTAIN, cuz there are some who don't do this, you know who you are) who just totally can't accept my point of view! It makes me so mad, cause I have my beliefs and I have my own thoughts why can't I express them like everyone else? Its not right. People tell me its horrible to keep my feelings inside like I used to and still sometimes do, but why do they think I do it? Its because of things like this where either way I lose. Either I don't stand up for my thoughts and beliefs and I am not being true to myself, or I speak up and get shot down.

and than today in comp & rhet we somehow got into a debate on gay rights, marriage and all sorts of junk relating. It was very heated and opinions going everywhere, Than when I stated my point of view I again got shot down. Man it stinks to be a minority!!! It was realyl intresting though and in this case wasn't so bad to be in the minority. I mean it was a debate sorta thing so it was expected we all would have different opinions and that we would get shot down, but it was still hard to be SUCH a minority having only one person backing me up on certain points. Our country is def. messed up. Were called a free country and yet have so many limitations. Church & state are supposidly seperated, yet they aren't in all reality. And the basis our country made for itself in the 1700s is totally disregaurded today.

I don't understand how its small minded for me to live the way I do and believe the things I do, and yet people who have other beliefs are not considered small minded with theirs. Is it really for any of us to say? How can you tell me I am wrong and I am not allowed to tell you that you are wrong? I'm sorry, thats small minded on your side. I am not perfect angel of any kind, but I do keep an open mind to others opinions and don't shoot them down. If you ask me what mine are, yea im gonna tell ya, so don't ask if you don't want to know. And if you don't believe the same way, it doesn't mean I automatically hate you for that.

I just want to be accepted for who I am just like everyone else, is that so much to ask?

Dance to the fiddles in the rhythm of the reels

bad week & debates